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Marriage Help - Communicate PDF Print E-mail
Written by Min Zhu   
Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Marriage Help - Communicate

Communicate


When  couples  are  having problems  in a  relationship,  communication  is the  first
thing to stop.  It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad.  When rebuilding
relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the
first to start.  This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty
much throw caution to the wind.  Healing in the relationship cannot start until you
talk.  Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that
you  will  listen,  really  listen.   That  does  not  mean  that  you  will  agree  with
everything,  which  is  perfectly  fine.   However,  if  you  do  not  agree,  do  not  yell,
rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a
solution.  This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much
better, individually and as a couple.

A Night of Passion


Intimacy  and  passion  in  relationships  is  not  only  important  but  also  healthy.
Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way.  When relationships are
troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each
other.  However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and
although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial.  Make your intimate
time  together  special.   Surprise  your  mate  with  a  warm  bubble  bath,  lighted
candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a
local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.

Dinner Party


Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting
several of you and your mate?s friends.  Set  up board games that  everyone will
enjoy,  have  some  light  and  lively  music  playing,  and  plan  to  have  a  blast.
Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress.
When stress is low, couples get along better.  This is a wonderful way to interact
with each other?s friends as a couple.


Happy Birthday


As  people  grow older,  in  general,  birthdays  become  less  celebrated.   Gifts  are
quickly given,  meals  eaten,  and  it  is  over.   For  your  mate?s  next  birthday,  take

some time to plan something very special.  Make this a true celebration of their life
as a way of showing your love and appreciation.  Every person, even adults, like
attention and love to be appreciated.  Whether a surprise party or not, your mate
will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.


Secret Getaway


Plan a nice weekend getaway to some place off the beaten track where you can
enjoy some  privacy.  A quaint cottage or charming bed and breakfast  would be
ideal choices.  Scout out the area ahead of time and choose a few things that the
two of you would like to do in the area but just be sure to leave plenty of time for
you to enjoy some alone time.  Order a nice bottle of wine or some hot cappuccino
and  relax  in  front  of  the  fire!   Make  this  a  romantic  weekend  where  you  can
rekindle your love.


Special Greeting


If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a
late-night gourmet meal.  When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy
lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal.  After he picks himself up off  the
floor,  he  will  fall  in  love  with  you  all  over  again  for  this  wonderful  greeting.   If
reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have
her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and
a wonderful meal.  Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will
read, ?This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner.?  This is
how you keep romance alive!


Just Because


Give  your  mate  gifts  ?just  because.?   These  do  not  have  to  be  expensive
whatsoever.   For  example,  one  woman  had  a  miniature  dish  collection  in  her
kitchen.  Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her.  Holding
out  her  hand,  he  gently  placed  in  her  hand  a  miniature  porcelain  cup  with  her
name  neatly written in blue ink.  She knew that this cup probably cost no more
than  $2.00  but  the  thought  that  he  would  take  the  time  to  find  something  she
enjoyed, was worth $1 million.  The small gifts packed with thought are far more
cherished.


Say it with Words


Surprise  your  mate  with  little  notes  found  in  unexpected  places.   If  your  mate
travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase.  Perhaps they
have a long commute to work.  If so, slip a note saying, ?I love you,? in their CD
case where you know they will find it.  Another recommendation is sticking a note
on  the  bathroom  mirror  so  this  will  be  the  first  thing  seen  in  the  morning.   Be
creative and have some fun with this.


Cuddle Time


When  couples  first  start  dating,  cuddling  is  usually  a  part  of  their  everyday
existence.   However,  as  the  relationship  progresses  or  after  children  enter  the
picture, the cuddling stops.  Take some time just to cuddle.  If your mate is sitting
on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them
that you just want to cuddle.  This makes both people feel secure and loved.


Breakfast in Bed


When was the last time you or your mate were served breakfast in bed?  Never?
On  a Saturday or Sunday, when nothing special is planned,  get up a little early
and  fix  their  favorite  breakfast.   Include  the  morning  newspaper  as  an  added
bonus.  Although they may be shocked, you can be guaranteed that this gesture of
love will be appreciated.



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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 December 2007 )
 
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