Skip to content

MomInNeed.com

You are here: Home arrow Relationship Help arrow Relationship Problems arrow Marriage Help - Look In The Mirror
Marriage Help - Look In The Mirror PDF Print E-mail
Written by Min Zhu   
Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Marriage Help - Look In The Mirror 

Listen to How You Talk


When  working  on  your  relationship,  more  than  likely  you  and  your  mate  have
settled  into  a  pattern  of  speaking  to  each  other.   It  might  be  with  short,  blunt
answers, heavy sighs as though bothered, or with negative remarks.  Pay attention
to not only your words spoken, but also the tone in which they are spoken.  Be
positive, cheery, and respond in a way that will confirm to your mate that you are
listening and truly interested ? that you have time to listen and communicate.  In
addition,  add  terms  of  endearment  into  your  conversation.   Instead  of  ?Good
morning,? try, ?Hi honey, good morning!?

Making Love


Intimacy  is  a  huge  part  of  a  successful  relationship.   Choose  a  book  from  the
bookstore  and  try  to  bring  a  little  excitement  into  your  relationship.   Do  not  be
afraid  to  experiment  and  learn  new  and  exciting  ways  to  please  each  other.
Keeping intimacy alive is healthy and not a bad thing whatsoever!


Turn the Computer Off


Often  the  computer  becomes  a  replacement  for  a  lack  of  something  in  the
relationship.   It  might  be  just  surfing,  playing  games,  or  getting  involved  with
websites that promote pornography.  If you notice that your mate is spending more
and more time on the computer, take this as a sign that even if not doing anything
wrong, they are choosing to spend the time with the computer instead of you.  In
other words, use this as a sign that something is missing in your relationship.  Start
by talking and searching to confirm what it is bothering your mate and then work
on making it better!


Follow Tradition


Keep some tradition in your marriage, which relates to the vows you took and the
fact that marriage is sacred.  Treat each anniversary as a celebration of your love
and the time spent together.  Follow the traditional anniversary gifts and see how
creative you can be.  The first year anniversary gift is paper.  One husband bought
his wife a beautiful Chinese drawing on rice paper, signed by the artist, and had it
framed for her.  Make this fun, exciting, and keep traditions alive.


Control Your Anger


Every  relationship  has  difficulties,  and  sometimes,  there  can  be  some  intense
arguments.  For the sake of your relationship and the love you have for your mate,
keep your anger in check.  First, when people are angry, hurtful words fly, usually
not  even  meant.   However,  after  spoken,  it is too  late  to take  them  back ? the
damage is done.  Another problem with anger is that the word ?divorce? can easily
be thrown around.  You may not mean it, but you know it hurts, thus making you
the winner of the argument.  NEVER talk about divorce in your relationship, even if
just teasing.  If you need to go to another room to cool off, and then do that, but
whatever you do, do not allow your anger to take control of your relationship.


Financial Woes


One  of  the  main  reasons  other  than  fidelity  that  marriages  fall  apart  is  due  to
finances.   When  couples  are  struggling  with  money  problems,  tempers  flare,
frustration  builds,  drinking may  start,  and  it  is  an  all-around  unhealthy  situation.
The  minute  there  are  any  signs  of  financial  difficulties,  the  two  of  you  need  to
immediately sit down and figure out a plan on how to deal with the problem.   If
needed, go to see a financial consultant or a credit counseling service to help you
get back on track.  Do not allow your finances to get out of line or your relationship
will certainly suffer.


I Forgive You


If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will
have  many  things  to  work  through.   When  your mate  has  done  something  that
requires  you  to  forgive,  you  have  to  forgive,  REALLY  forgive.   Once  you  have
worked through the issue either together or with professional counseling, and you
tell them that you forgive them, you can never hold that over them again.  As an
example, if your mate has had an affair and the two of you choose to work it out
rather than throw the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the
forgiveness  is  said,  it  is  done!   This  means  that  you cannot  stalk  your  mate  to
ensure they are where they said they would be, call or page them throughout the
day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of your relationship, it means that you forgive
and  put  the  past  behind  you  and  then  move  on  in  a  new,  strong,  and  healthy
relationship.  It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and
commitment.


Fighting No-No


While having disagreements is normal and sometimes when controlled, healthy for
relationships,  the  place  and  degree  of  discussion  are  important.   Keep  your
disagreements private.  Being at a party or anywhere around family or friends and
breaking into an argument is a great way to break down a relationship.  Not only
does it cause  embarrassment  for  your mate, but it also puts  a negative light on
both of you from the people witnessing the fight.  If you are in public and think you
need to argue, at least find a quiet corner or separate room where you can discuss
whatever it is bothering you.


Strong Family Ties


When in a relationship, not only are you involved with the love of your life, but also
the family of your mate.  It is important to build a strong, healthy relationship with
the families as well.  Even if you do not see them often, having a good connection
with your mate?s family will make life for everyone much better all the way around.


Mentoring


If you know of another couple from work or your church that has been married for
many years and continued to have a strong relationship, ask them if they would
mentor you.  Being around positive influences and watching someone who leads
by example is a great way to learn how to have a good relationship for yourself.




Reddit!Del.icio.us!Google!Facebook!Slashdot!Netscape!Technorati!StumbleUpon!Newsvine!Furl!Yahoo!Ma.gnolia!Free social bookmarking plugins and extensions for Joomla! websites!
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 December 2007 )
 
< Prev   Next >

Social Bookmark

Add to: Digg Add to: Del.icoi.us Add to: Reddit Add to: StumbleUpon Add to: Slashdot Add to: Netscape Add to: Furl Add to: Yahoo Add to: Blogmarks Add to: Diigo Add to: Technorati Add to: Newsvine Add to: Blinkbits Add to: Ma.Gnolia Add to: Spurl Add to: Google Add to: Blinklist Information
Social Bookmarking

Recipes - Non Members

155 Quick Recipes
Cookie Recipes
[+]
  • Narrow screen resolution
  • Wide screen resolution
  • Auto width resolution
  • Increase font size
  • Decrease font size
  • Default font size
  • fresh color
  • hot color
  • natural color
  • dark color