Skip to content

MomInNeed.com

You are here: Home arrow Relationship Help arrow Relationship Problems arrow Marriage Help - Private Time
Marriage Help - Private Time PDF Print E-mail
Written by Min Zhu   
Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Marriage Help - Private Time 

Respect Privacy


When two people come together in a relationship, each person has their own set
of history.  There are yearbooks, maybe love letters from a first love, other objects
that may not seem important to one person but to the owner, they have a special
meaning.  It is important to respect the privacy of your mate?s ?stuff.?  Do not dig

through boxes of things owned by your mate out of curiosity.  Instead, allow them
to bring those things out if they feel it is necessary.  By helping yourself, you are
disrespecting  something  sacred  to  your  mate,  which  is  not  healthy  for  any
relationship.


No Place for Abuse


Regardless of how much you love your mate and believe in who they are, there is
NEVER an appropriate time for abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal.  If
your mate shows aggression or any form of abuse toward you, seek counseling for
both of you immediately to try to work through things.  If your mate refuses to go,
even if it is hard, leave.  First is your safety.  Second, it is possible for people to
learn ways in which to manage their aggressions.  If this is the case, the life of the
relationship has a much better chance of surviving!

Open Your Eyes


Do not drive yourself crazy with this, but  take notice of  how your relationship  is
going.   Open  your  eyes  and  take  stock  of  what  is  and  is  not  working  in  your
relationship.  Are there definite things missing or definite problem areas that need
to  be  worked  on?    Think  about  it.   If  you  invest  in  the  stock  market,  you  pay
attention  to  what  is  going  on  so  you  can  make  changes  if  needed.   Your
relationship  is  far  more  than  the  stock  market  but  requires  some  of  the  same
strategies.


The Grass is NOT Greener!


Too many times, people get tired of working on the relationship they are currently
in and feel that by moving on to another person, they will find greener pastures.
This is just not the  case.   What  happens  is when you move to another  person,
things  are  fresh,  new,  and  exciting  just  as  they  were  in  the  beginning  of  your
current  relationship.   Within  time,  that  relationship  will  also  start  experiencing
differences and bumps in the road.  Unless you are being abused or your mate is
doing something illegal or completely irresponsible, perhaps the efforts you would
put into starting a new relationship would be better spent fixing the one you have.


Start a Journal


Keep your personal feelings and discoveries about your mate in a journal.  This
will  help  to  remember  what  special  things  he  or  she  likes  or  dislikes,  track  the
wonderful  times  spent  together,  and  help  you  to  feel  better  when  you  hit  an
obstacle in your relationship.  When things get a little tough, refer to your journal
and read through all the terrific emotions and time together and you will find plenty
of reasons to make things right again.


Be Flexible


Remember  that  relationships  are  give  and  take  situations,  not  competition
between two people who love each other.  There will be times when your mate is
right and times when you are right.  When you feel the conversation getting a little
on the edgy side with each of you trying to hold ground, do not forget that there
can be many ways to accomplish the same task.  The result is that each of you

might learn something new from the other person.  Put your heads together and
do what makes the most sense instead of battling for ownership of the solution.


Cut out the Excuses


A major turn-off in many situations, not only relationships, is people who have an
excuse for everything.  Forget that.  Do not make excuses in fear of your mate not
liking, loving, or respecting you.  Be yourself and if you messed up with something,
just admit to it.  Say you had promised to make dinner, got home exhausted, and
just did not feel like making it, do not tell your mate, ?I had to work overtime.?  Be
honest and say, ?You know, I got home after a busy day and I was too tired.  What
sounds better, Chinese or Pizza??  This has taken you out of the situation of lying
and reconfirmed your honest nature to your mate.


Spirituality


Statistics show that couples that spend time in church together usually have strong
relationships.   Bringing spirituality  into  your  relationship  is important.   Allow  the
love of God to be your ultimate guide and spend time having devotions together at
night.  If you are just starting out dating, religious preference may not seem like a
big deal at first, but soon into the relationship, it can be a big trouble spot.  Make
time for God in your life and consider dating someone who shares the same faith!


Learn to be Successful


Many  couples  are  starting  to  go  to  counseling  or  relationship/marriage  classes
much earlier in their relationship rather than waiting until after the marriage is in
trouble.   This  is  a  great  option  for  learning  how  to  have  a  healthy,  lasting
relationship and develop open communication.  


Work and Home Do Not Mingle


How many times have you heard this?  It is true.  While sharing experiences about
your day with your mate is perfectly normal, living your work at home is not.  If you
have to bring work home, set a specific amount of time it will take you to complete,
let your mate know, and then when quitting time comes,  quit!  It is important  to
separate  the  two parts  of  your  life  and  keep  you work  at  the  job,  and  when  at
home, pay attention to your mate and/or family.


Encourage Friendships


Men, unlike women, have a more difficult time in developing close friendships with
other men.  This is a natural part of life and while they may have some buddies
from high school or college that they see on occasion, rarely do they set specific
time  aside just for friends.  Men and women both  need an outlet outside  of  the
relationship where they can just ?let their guard down? and have some fun with the
same gender.  As your mate makes new friendships, encourage that growth and
show 100% support!


Confidentiality


Women  are usually blessed with the gift  of  gab, making it easy, sometimes too
easy,  to  talk to  other  people.   Keep  information  shared  to  you by  your  mate  in
100% confidence.  Unless they have told you of a crime they have committed, they
are confiding in you and placing full trust in your relationship.  All it takes is one
time of spilling private information for the entire relationship to suffer.

As you can see, relationships take work.  However, with the right attitude, a lot of hard
work, and some unique ideas on how to make is successful, couples can have a strong,
lifelong relationship!




Reddit!Del.icio.us!Google!Facebook!Slashdot!Netscape!Technorati!StumbleUpon!Newsvine!Furl!Yahoo!Ma.gnolia!Free social bookmarking plugins and extensions for Joomla! websites!
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 December 2007 )
 
< Prev

Social Bookmark

Add to: Digg Add to: Del.icoi.us Add to: Reddit Add to: StumbleUpon Add to: Slashdot Add to: Netscape Add to: Furl Add to: Yahoo Add to: Blogmarks Add to: Diigo Add to: Technorati Add to: Newsvine Add to: Blinkbits Add to: Ma.Gnolia Add to: Spurl Add to: Google Add to: Blinklist Information
Social Bookmarking

Recipes - Non Members

155 Quick Recipes
Cookie Recipes
[+]
  • Narrow screen resolution
  • Wide screen resolution
  • Auto width resolution
  • Increase font size
  • Decrease font size
  • Default font size
  • fresh color
  • hot color
  • natural color
  • dark color