Hi! As we approach the day our site goes public, I took a step back.

I felt it was important to share about some of the issues I have had and how they may help you with your situation.  

My life is no where near perfect and I often wonder if hitting the lottery would wash away all our problems.  Last night I thought about this and the people we are trying to reach out and touch.  Yes, a million dollars would be nice, but money can't fix everything.

I've noticed and reflected on some of the past problems I had to see if there was a connection between them.  You see, not all the problems had to do with me directly, but some of them did.  I noticed that the problems didn't fix themselves and it wasn't until I fixed myself or set myself straight, that the issue was rectified.

While laying awake, I thought about how important it is to resolve my own reservations and then tackle the problems.  Of course it is often times very difficult to do this, especially when emotions are involved.  Your brain pretty much takes a back seat to whatever you are feeling.

When I moved out here it was difficult.  Yes, I had met my husband and we have a beautiful baby boy, but there was something missing.  I had to come to terms with my new way of life and having to rely on someone to support me, this is still sometimes a struggle for me.  My husband doesn't really understand and thinks I should be grateful that I don't have to work and I can spend all the time with our son.  Yes I'm grateful, but I still feel as if something is missing.  Sometimes I feel I don't contribute enough and sometimes I'd like to just go out and buy something with my own money.  Maybe that's it... it's not really my money!  There's guilt associated with me going out and buying a new purse or dress.

So that's what I'm working on.  My husband says my greatest contribution is raising our son.  He says it's a million times better than putting him in day-care.  Although I do agree with him it will just take time for me to do this.

This morning I gave my husband a hug and kiss and told him what I was feeling.  Our son babbled something and my husband said "see? he's reaching out to you because his heart is full of love for only 2 people right now." Then the baby smiled and I felt much better.   

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